What Once Was
by hopefulromantic85
Summary: Amelia Pond knew something was missing, why was the Doctor keeping secrets?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, this is my first attempt at a Doctor Who Fanfic, I've read some many wonderful ones, I thought Why not give it a go? There may be Amy/11 if you squint really hard. But anyways, Reviews are welcomed, constructive criticism only please. (= I would like to thank poyntersally for pointing out a plot snag. LOL poynter point okay enough rambling on with the story... R&R**

The Doctor had been acting strange every since they left Earth 2020 after making a deal with the Silurians, something was wrong he was hiding something Amy thought as she watched her Doctor. fly his beloved Tardis his fingers dancing among the many buttons and levers. But what? The Doctor wasn't exactly forthcoming he had secrets, but this was different, she felt this secret in her soul. She had awoken crying many nights and not know why. It was like her heart knew something that her brain did not.

"Amelia, are you okay?" The Doctor broke in her thoughts,

"I'm sorry what?" she asked unsure of what he had just asked

A frown know graces his beautiful face, and he stopped pressing buttons and pulling levers and walked over to the leather couch that Amelia Pond know occupied, she looked pale and drawn, as if she hadn't slept in a month, she had her hands in her lap and sat stiff, he wondered for a moment if she were a statue like the Weeping Angels, he laid a gentle hand upon one of her hands.

"Are you ill?" he asked her searching her eyes for hidden answers or some sort of hint as to what may be bothering her.

"No, I just have been having nightmares" she said looking into his eyes, her eyes moistened at the thought of her nightmares.

"What about?" The Doctor asked as hearts fell to the pit of his stomach, fearing that what she would say,

"Well..." she started and she stopped short, and the Doctor gave her a reassuring squeeze, "You remember, when I saw the Future me in the field?" she asked,

"Yes" The Doctor said, knowing where this was going,

"Well, in my nightmare there is someone standing beside me and I know him, but when I wave at him he disappears and then I wake up crying in the middle of the night" Amy said, bring her arms in to hug herself.

"Well..dreams are complicated, they often come from one's imagination, or the last thing one thinks of before falling into R.E.M, that stands for Rapid Eye Movement, which is the state of being in a deep sleep" The Doctor said,

"Doctor" she said

The Doctor stopped rambling and looked at Amy, Amelia Pond the little Scottish girl who waited 14 years and smiled,

"Sorry" he apologized

This was never easy, revealing something that would hurt someone he cared about, no matter how many times he regenerated he will never get used to hurting those closest to him. He knew he owed it to Amy to tell her about Rory, and only hoped she wouldn't hate him when she found out..

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, he knelt in front of Amy and licked his lips.

"Amy" he said his voice low and measured

"Yes?" she asked, the Doctor had a grave look on his face, and she knew what he was about to say couldn't be good

"I know who the person in your dream is" he said slowly, and he swallowed hard, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say.

**Okay, so its a cliffie, you didn't think I was going to reveal all right off the bat did ya? Come on gotta have a little ANTICIPATION. 33**


	2. Chapter 2

She watched the Doctor as he took a deep breath

"His name was Rory..Rory Williams" the Doctor said very slowly  
She knew that the name was suppose to mean something to her, but it didn't, and she felt moisture trickle down her cheeks, and she wiped at her cheeks

"Why am I crying?" she asked the Doctor and herself,

"Amy...try to remember" he said staring into her eyes intensely

She mentally repeated the name Rory Williams, and she looked about the Tardis trying to find something to help chip away at the block in her mind, and there she saw it a soft red velveteen box, She slowly stood up, and walked slowly towards it, sitting perfectly still on the console, she reached for the box as if she were reaching into a flame, not knowing what would happen, she looked at the Doctor for guidance. He gave a nod, and with that she opened it and her whole world seem to fall away, a beautiful yet simple ring nestled between the plush velvet, she had a flash of her and a brownish blonde hair boy sitting on a park bench, as they watched the people in the park go about there day. She was then back on the Tardis with the doctor, she then took the ring and slid it on the fourth finger of her right hand, another flash

"Amelia Jessica Pond Will you Marry me?" the boy from the park asked her

"Yes!" she shrieked excitedly and jumped into the boy's arms

She was so excited she was going to be Mrs. Rory Williams, she was then back on the Tardis, she felt her heart screech to a halt,

"Rory" she whispered she began shaking, the flashes becoming faster and more vivid

"DOCTOR!" Rory bellowed as he pushed the Doctor out of the way of Restaks oncoming shot, then he fell to floor writhing in pain, she fell to his side,

"RORY!" she cried,

"Rory can you hear me" The Doctor said as he examined Rory with his sonic screwdriver,

"I don't undersand" Rory said with pained confusion

"Shh Rory don't talk, Doctor is he okay we have to get him on to Tardis" She said her heart racing

"We were on the hill" Rory said panting for breath

"I can't die here" Rory shuddered with fear

She watched him as he became weaker and weaker, she stroked his face

"Don't say that" she said heart cracking

"You're so beautiful" he said in astonishment, his breathing grew labored

"I'm sorry" Rory apologized as he body grew relaxed and his eyes closed for the last time

"Doctor help him" she pleaded desperately, the light from the crack streamed and started wrapping itself around his feet.

She watched helplessly as the crack consumed Rory,

"That light...if he's body is absorbed I'll forget him..he'll never have existed" she said and she turned towards the Doctor who was standing at the console

"You can't let that happen" she said hoping the Doctor had a clever plan up his sleeve like he always does.

He then pulled the throttle and the Tardis engine roared to life and she lunged herslelf at the Doctor, she fought with the Doctor

"What are you doing? NO! DOCTOR! NO" She said as she fought with him over the throttle trying to stop the Tardis.

"Doctor we can't just leave him here" she said her heart breaking in two

"Don't forget him, keep him in your mind, if you forget you'll lose him forever" he said as he wrapped his arms around Amy.

"Rory Williams from Leadworth" she said as everything came crashing in, and the final piece came together, her chest was heaving, and her face was wet from the unshed tears now pushing there way to the surface.

She looked at the Doctor with an emotion she never thought she'd feel towards him...anger. She launched herself like she did when she tried to stop him from leaving Rory there in the the cave.

She screamed and pounded on his chest the Doctor just wrapped his arms around her using his strength to block the blows, 

"You left him" she said tears streaming

His hearts broke for her, again he had caused someone he cared about pain, he held her in his arms, allowing her to get her emotions out, just being there for her when she calmed down.

"I had to, otherwise the crack would have took you too" he said

His stomach lurched at very thought of Amy being consumed by the light instead of Rory,

"I wish it were you" she said her blows become gradually weaker

"So do I" he said in a broken voice, feeling her pain to his very being.

"Amy" he said once she had stopped hitting him she pulled back her red eyes looking at him,

"I couldn't lose you too" he said as tears now formed in his eyes,

He stroked the hair that had plastered itself on her cheek, her heart broken and her eyes were distant,

"I'm going to my room" she said her voice hollow,

"Of course, you need rest" the Doctor said sadly

He watched Amy slowly walk up the steps as if she were a lifeless zombie. If only she knew the real reason he couldn't lose her.


	3. Chapter 3

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**Okay, This is the FINAL chapter, I hope you guys like the way I ended it. Thanks for all your wonderful support. Means the world to me. 3**

Days Amy had been in her room for days, occasionally the Doctor would leave a tray of the kind of food he thought a human would consume outside her door, and after every meal he would return to find the contents exactly the same save for a few bits here and there. He watched from the screen how she just lie in bed, as if she were frozen in a moment in time. He had caused her pain, when he was trying to save her from it, which is how it always seems to go. Verging on the 7th day of her confinement, the Doctor made a decision to go into her room.

He knocked gently, he opened the door, he saw her form lying on the bed, and as he drew closer he saw that he chest rise and fall slowly, she must be dreaming he thought.

"Rory" she murmured and she sat up, her eyes still still half closed, "Rory?" she said her voice now more clearer and her eyes opened fully "Doctor" she said and then she broke into tears.

He rushed to her side, "Amy" he said as he wrapped his arms around her, happy that he was at least in the same room with her. He stroked her back, "What's wrong?" he asked, he felt her tears soak his shirt, he didn't care. 

"I'm sorry" she said her voice muffled, he broke the embrace just enough to look into her face.

"For what?" he asked as he thumbed her tears away and a slightly embarrassed look came to her face

"For saying that I wish it were you stead of Rory" she said her bottom lip trembling,

"Amy you don't have to apologize, you never have to apologize to me" he said as kissed her forehead meaning it to be a gesture of forgiveness, but what started out as forgiveness soon blossomed into something much more special.

He looked into Amy's beautiful brown eyes, and for a moment his hearts skipped a beat, he noticed that both his and Amy's breathing had become hitched, he stroked her smooth porcelain cheek, he knew he'd regret doing what he was about to do, but there was a time for regrets and right now wasn't it.

He lowered his lips to Amy's in a gentle caress, but once Amy's perfectly manicured fingers threaded themselves into his hair that was he's undoing, he deepened the kiss and his fingers stroked down her cheek and lightly traced ear, which sent a shiver down Amy's spine, she lightly scratched his scalp, and to his and Amy's surprise he let out a growl, he broke the kiss,

"This isn't a good idea" he said his voice husky and his eyes darkened with lust.

"You know, good idea's are rarely appreciated in there time" Amy teased the beautiful and sorely missed smile back on her face. The Doctor felt his lips twitch.

"Amy" he whispered,

"Yeah?" she asked her eyebrow quirked

"I love you" he said, never had he said it out loud before to any of his companions

"I love you too" Amy said as she brought her lips back up to his in a searing kiss, he heard a low rumble and he abruptly ended the kiss, Amy grumbled at the loss of his mouth

"What was that noise?" his ears perked up, and he looked around the room for the source of such noise, it rumbled once more, and he looked at Amy in astonishment, and he pulled out his stethoscope from his bigger on the inside tweed jacket, and pressed it to her abdomen, and he giggled he had found the source, then preceded to thwack himself on the forehead.

"Of course, you must be starving" he said as he jumped up from the bed and before he left the room

"I'll see what I can do" he said with a smile,

"NO fish custard" she warned, with a smile on her face, she then heard his far away voice say

"Oi don't knock it until you've tried it" she let out a giggle.

Fin

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End file.
